Saturday, 30 April 2011

Zeus Asks...

A-Z Challenge – ‘Z’

Who Would Be Immortal?

It used to be so simple; there was no doubt I was in charge. Top god and if anyone stepped out of line I got stroppy and tossed a thunderbolt or two. Olympus was an idyllic place to live; from its heights I could watch over all the land. My brother, Poseidon and I were a perfect pair. I ruled the skies and made my presence felt through thunder, lightening and storms. He had a line in earthquakes and ruled the seas. Just to make sure that we were in total control we let our other brother, Hades, control the underworld.
To sort out the tribes and cities in the land I had to dominate their female deities. There are all sorts of myths about how many I seduced. Not all of them were myths. I even married some.
However I suppose the biggest problems arose when I married my sister, Hera who has been called ‘her indoors’ down through the ages. We had two sets of twins, including Helen later know as Helen of Troy. Our son Ares became the god of war and battle and the instigator of violence. Because of his cruel and warlike nature he was despised by all the gods. To tell you the truth I wasn’t too keen on him myself. He was bloody and merciless but also fearful and a coward. He had no moral attributes. I’ll never know how he persuaded the lovely Aphrodite to become his consort. Mind you he was a giant of a man with a loud voice; none of the other gods could match his speed.
I don’t know how Blair and Bush decided on the slogan of “Shock and Awe.” On the battlefield Ares was always accompanied Phobos and Deimos who were also known as “Fear” and “Terror.” He was also attended by Eris, the goddess of discord and strife. She became his constant companion and followed him everywhere. With Eris about there was bound to be trouble. I never understood how he became of the father of Harmonia, the goddess of harmony.
Sinister and mean, Eris took great joy in creating discord. I never did find out who gave her that golden apple. It was so bright and shiny that everyone wanted it. When she throws it among friends the friendships come to a rapid end; thrown among enemies it leads to war. Not for nothing is the golden apple of Eris known as the Apple of Discord. There was uproar when she threw it on the floor during the wedding banquet of Peleus and Thetis. Paris had to use his judgement to decide who had succeeded in getting hold of it. Some say the Trojan War would not have happened if Eris had behaved herself.
When wars have broken out since, right to the present day, you can put money on it that Eris has had a hand in it. To make matters worse she’s immortal.
I just can’t understand the modern day cult of celebrity. Those ‘A’ listed celebs are not the slightest bit immortal. What do they mean by a domestic goddess? Being able to clean and cook is no criteria. It’s no good using those anti-wrinkle creams they won’t work. This modern nonsense makes a mockery of my being immortal at all.
To rub salt into the wounds they have even nicked the idea of the great gymnastics and religious festival set up at Olympia in my honour. If they cheated in my day I fried them with my lightning bolt.


mooderino said...

Finally, the tell all memoir we've been waiting for.

Moody Writing

Unknown said...

Hey Bob! This is great. I loved reading this, so entertaining. You got more like this?

Elizabeth Mueller said...

Bog, we did it! Congratulations! I have an award for you!!