Monday, 15 August 2011

A Visit to the Vet's - A Lily (Mis)adventure

From time to time I get emails from my daughter's dogs to whom I'm known as Gramps. Lily's earlier (mis)adventures featured in a couple of my April posts.


Lily dozing
“Gramps,

I have lots of news.

I have a funny vagina.

We’ll get to that in a minute. Apparently, I’m not as feisty as I make out. I went to the vet today. We were late because I refused to get in the car. I hate the car. Mummy got my front paws in, but then I ground them in so hard, that it took her forever to get my back paws in. Then, when she got the others inside the house, I howled so loud that I sounded like a strangled cat, let alone a scaredy one. I was sitting in the driver’s seat when Mummy got in, and I refused to move from it. I drove all the way to the vet sitting on Mummy’s lap, panting heavily and trying not to be sick. I weigh 78.5 pounds too, so Mummy was a little squished by the time we got there.

I growled at all the other dogs inside the vet. Mummy said that was bad. I didn’t try to attack them though because, well, I was firmly hidden between Mummy’s legs.

The vet was nice although he poked me with a sharp thingy a few times. Mummy said it’s necessary if I think I want to chase Rocky and other fun things all the time.

Soooo, anyway….my vagina….it’s shaped funny, so I pee on myself! Isn’t that funny? I thought it was. It’s apparently quite common though, but Mummy or Daddy has to make sure it keeps dry. Mummy found that hugely hilarious. Something to do with my frequent visits to the pond.

I cost $185 today. Mummy said that was more painful than the journey to the vet.

We eventually got home. I rode in the back seat like the feisty girl I really am.

Oh, oh. There was another “incident” this week. Daddy accidentally left two 50lb bags of dog food on the garage floor one work day. We generally don’t touch it, but “somehow” it was opened up and a bunch of food was missing when Mummy got home. Of course, I was blamed…..

…..until dinner time. Guess who wasn’t hungry? Come on..you’ll never guess. SCOUT! SCOUT! SCOUT! Scout did it. Scout, Mummy’s angel boy, did it! Wahoooooo.

Lots of love
Lily”

Scout in the frame

4 comments:

alberta ross said...

oh yes blame me - know that syndrome - nice post I have to confess never come across that complaint before!!! but getting largeish dogs into cars and into vets oh yes been there- done that- have a row of tee-shirts!

Carole Anne Carr said...

A very luck retriever to have such a good caring home.

Little Nell said...

What clever dogs, and Lily writes and spells beautifully.

Postcardy said...

She definitely has a personality.