Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)
For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)
For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
Challenge Met!
Memories
The door swung open as I approached. Floorboards creaked as I entered the small square hall. Memories flooded back in this house where I was born.
The stairs stretched up before me. On my left had been the best room in the house, only used on Sundays – and for courting. It could tell a tale or two.
The old round table had gone from the lounge on the right. No dartboard graced its wall; the scoreboard that taught me sums was no longer there. The brass tongs from the hearth had disappeared as well. The place was not the same.
I traced my steps from the lounge to the kitchen. How I wished the black-leaded range and the stone flag floor still remained and the modern AGA and terracotta tiles didn’t jar so much.
Finally I crept up the stairs which groaned as I went despite me carefully avoiding that sixth rickety step. My old bedroom’s roof sloped above the bed, but the chamber pot wasn’t there.
I left the attic till last. Anticipating a treasure trove I entered in a rush. The floor gave way under my weight. Memories merged into blackness as above me the door swung shut.
29 comments:
Great story! It is jarring to return to a place of memory. What an ending.
Nice. I just began reading through all the challenge entries. Thus far, I've read three totally different pieces! ~Nadja
Nice. I'm reading through them all too. Seems we have every genre (and every kind of door!)
Really nice, simple and good read.
I really liked this... such a different tone from all the others I've read so far :)
Awww...as soon as the character thinks he/she's gotten some treasure, you yank away the floor (literally)! Cool!
Gasp! What a great ending, following an excellent, evocative, and intriguing story. Thank you!
Oh, I like this one. Very nice.
Wow. I want to read more.
An excellent idea and a quality short story yet with a "poetic" feeling in it.You are mastering the words!
ah! hope he didnt get hurt too badly! but he created a new memory =)
nice work!
Nice! It definitely invokes the oddness of returning to a place one once lived. (Fellow campaigner, here!)
Nice story and you served as an inspiration to write 'Skeletons in the Attic.' I had struggled with how to write this and the combination of the opening and closing and word limit somehow made it easier. Writer's block annihilated! Thanks!!!
Wow, started as a trip down memory lane, with a twist at the end. Way to use the prompt! I'm a new follower stopping over from the campaign!
well done!!
:)~
HUGZ
This has a very nostalgic feel to it. Nice job!
Nice job. I too am enjoying how no two stories are the same. Mine is #72
Nice twist! I wasn't expecting that at all.
I didn't expect that ending! This was a very interesting take on the challenge.
Interesting. I've just written a scene like this, where a past place is completely changed. I think you nailed the feeling of tarnished nostalgia quite well! Great entry, Bob! :)
I really like this you did a great job!
I love the twist at the end..awesome!!
http://www.doreenmcgettigan.com
What a shocker at the end! Great entry!
Greta ending- very fun piece
It just never seems quite right when you go back to someplace that holds deep seeded memories. Nice post!
Oh no! Poor guy/gal! Lol! Trying to enjoy a trip down memory lane at ends up taking a very unpleasant trip at the end! Lol! Nice twist ending. :)
Oh I like this! Memories are so precious, it'd be harsh if everything had changed.
Ending feels just right for the piece.
An evocative and intriguing story, you built the tension as he go t higher in the house. The ending rounded off the story but left a lot of unanswered questions.
As I read this I recognised the type of house you were describing immediately. Then after checking your profile I discovered you are local to me, so yes a hit from me.
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